Ash Ketchum vs Charles Darwin
Ash Ketchum vs Charles Darwin is the sixty-sixth installment of ''Epic Rap Battles of History'' and the eighth episode of Season 5. It features the main protagonist of the Pokémon anime and aspiring Pokémon Master, Ash Ketchum, and the discoverer of natural selection and other mechanisms of biological evolution, Charles Darwin. It was released on November 14th, 2016. Cast Nice Peter as Charles Darwin Brian Walters as Ash Ketchum Mary Doodles as Jessie (cameo) Dante Cimadamore as James and an evolving man (cameo) EpicLLOYD as Ash Williams (cameo) Pikachu, Charizard, Butterfree, Alolan Exeggutor, Magikarp, and Lapras (animations, cameos) Lyrics [Note: Ash Ketchum is in blue, Charles Darwin is in dark gray, Charizard is in orange, and Pikachu is in yellow.] 'Ash Ketchum:' Darwin wants to battle? Doesn't seem like a fight, But this should be fun! I've yet to catch the Ghost type! Got the highest speed stat, drop raps lightning fast, Open my pockets and go (Charizard!) on your ass! 'Cause I'm Ash! And that's A to the "shush"! I don't care how many beetles and butterflies you squoosh! Your earthworms can't beat these magical beasties! Your shit-talking mouth is the origin of feces! You got candy raps: Reese's Pieces! In this ecosystem, I'm the dominant species! When it's time to train, I turn to Pikachu, (Pika!) But when I need a weak verse, I choose you! 'Charles Darwin:' Hello there. Welcome to a world called Earth, Where actual minds do groundbreaking work! If you're looking for the fittest, I'm the natural selection! You're so ineffective you couldn't even turn 11! What you spit's just not hard-hitting enough! It's kids stuff! You're soft like a Jigglypuff! You got no Game, Boy, so you'll get the broom quick! The real Ash packs a much bigger BOOMSTICK! I'm a masterful naturalist! What I've glimpsed will outclass all the crap on your laughable list! My research reversed the first words of the Church! You measure your worth by the sales of your merch! 'Ash Ketchum:' Yo, ummm, real quick? This dude spent eight years studying barnacle dick! Kick it! You think I'm impressed by your boat trip? Please! You're the most annoying thing on a Beagle since fleas! You're a glitchy old man best left out at sea! Set sail and Galápago-suck on these! 'Charles Darwin:' Look, Mighty Morphin' Michael Vick, Your animated slave fights make me sick! When I battle a foe from so simple a beginning, I'm not Charles Sheen, but I am Dar-winning! 'Ash Ketchum:' Man, if that's true, then nature is cruel 'Cause the only thing you're winning is your cousin's gene pool! You lost three children while they were still small! TB and scarlet fever; gotta catch 'em all! 'Charles Darwin:' It took millions of years for mankind to evolve! Now they're hunched over cell phones playing with your balls! And it was hard losing my daughters and their brother, As hard as the wood that Oak gave your mother! Scrapped lyrics 'Charles Darwin:' Hello there! Welcome to the world of reality, Where animals are merely benefactors to humanity, Not family! This is the cycle that we are born from, And I'm the next professor you're taking orders from! I'll make the face of a franchise faint! Beat you 'til you're Red and Blue 'cause you got no game! No strength, no smarts, not responsive to change 'Cause it took you over 20 years…not to age! Over centuries, mankind has grown to be upright! Today, they need to Pokémon GO get a life! Hunched over touching balls with a phone in their hand, So I hypothesize this fight is the Descent of a PokéMan! If the power is inside, cough it up! You can trade all you want; you're still the master of none, And it doesn't matter how many badges you earn! I keep spitting those burns to put Ash in an urn! ---- Not family! This is natural order and no lesser! Now prepare to be uprooted by an actual professor! Generations of evolution has made me the most fit To shit on unscientific metamorphosis! The process you misdefine is how we adapt, And based on your league record, that's something you can't grasp! 'Ash Ketchum:' Darwin wants to battle? He's gonna Dar-lose To the very best! Isn't that right, Pikachu? I'm a Fire-type rapper; got a Pallet in my pack With a natural-list of elements to kick your grass! This aint no glitch; I'll be missing no hits! You got theories getting split by critics in 8 bits! A wild scientist appeared, and he's going ape shit, So he gave his first cousin his trainer tip! And it's not very effective when you travel the globe To spend five years with seamen, studying homos! Which Pokémon are you? My dex don't know, But the rap on this track's one-hit K.O.! ---- Darwin wants to battle? Doesn't seem like a fair fight, But this should be fun! I'm yet to catch a Ghost type! ---- I spit ice-cold rhymes, and your ass is grass! ---- Your attract is so ineffective you gave your cousin your trainer tip! All your burns have been squelched by my flow! There's no need for part two; it's a one-hit K.O.! ---- Spittin' ice-cold rhymes, and your ass is just grass! ---- But right now I need a weak verse; I choose you! 'Charles Darwin:' You can't catch 'em all when you don't have the balls! I'm a decorated fellow; you still haven't evolved, So when you and your little rat try to give me a shock, Just remember, you've lost to every champion you fought! On the Origin of Species, we grow as a population, Revising, but not restarting, as we move through generations. These survival traits are nature's fate to pick and choose, And I see an endangered species when I Pikachu! If to Ketchum was your real test, then you scored an F! What you call evolution is short of metamorphosis! Now, the force of biology is how we reproduce! It's called natural selection, and it won't choose you! ---- What you call evolution is mere shapeshifting! ---- Against a kid not smart enough to evolve a Pikachu! This battle's natural selection, and it won't choose you! 'Ash Ketchum:' You act like your novels have ever been Red! Like Team Rocket, I'll have to put you on blast again 'Cause you said it: the measurement of worth is a friendship, And my Pokédex has more entries than your friends list! I'm a trainer, a battler, a capturer, a master! The physical appearance of our fitness doesn't matter! It's the bonds we share that build the strength we can bear, And you have about as much as your head has hair! So I don't need to evolve; my team is strong the way we are! Every single diss you throw at me, I'm gonna catch 'em all! Pika, use a sick bar as your finishing move! Pik…a…ACHOO! 'Charles Darwin:' Missed! I didn't even flinch! Tell me how imaginary creatures are stronger than my finch! 'Ash Ketchum:' Electric's super effective! You know we won't be losing To a dude who watched a monkey poop and called it evolution! 'Charles Darwin:' You claim to conquer monsters, but your heart is so delicate! Your mom asked me to revoke your gym membership! 'Ash Ketchum:' Your heart fainted! You can't revive it to attack us! You could use a gym; this 'aint survival of the fattest! 'Charles Darwin:' What's a life of learning to a boy who's never grown? Like the first movie, you're forever froze in an Everstone! 'Ash Ketchum:' You forgot something in the mortal words of your journal! The world of my journey and dreams is eternal! 'Charles Darwin:' I've been catching critters before you were a Squirtle in your daddy's Poké Balls! ---- I'm sailing the championship that you never won, You little grunt! You're soft like a Jigglypuff! ---- You got no Game, Boy, so you better choose quick! ---- Your glorified dogfights just make my heart sick! I'd say you're an even worse trainer than Michael Vick! 'Ash Ketchum:' When I need to train, I turn to Pikachu. 'Charles Darwin:' Hello, and welcome to a world called Earth. 'Ash Ketchum:' My six balls are a lady's dream team! ---- Yo, ummm, just in case you didn't know, This dude spent five years with seamen, studying homos! ---- This dude spent eight years studying barnacle dick! Bust it! ---- You're bugging; it's the old man glitch disease! So set sail and Galápago-suck on these! 'Charles Darwin:' When I flow against a foe from so simple a beginning, Poll Trivia General *This is the first battle to feature moving subtitles, as the lyrics "doesn't seem like a fight" are translated down the screen as the camera moves around Ash Ketchum. *The special guest writers, Mat4yo and Cam Greely, have previously been involved in fanmade versions of this battle, including Greely's own Professor Oak vs. Charles Darwin in his VideoGameRapBattles series.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgUhP-4WhZs *A preview of Wonder Woman appears during the end credits. *This battle was "#1 trending" on YouTube the day after it was released. *This is the shortest battle of Season 5, beating J. R. R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin by 25 seconds. *This is the fourth battle where one of the comments featured at the end of the video was from a user of this Wiki (in this case, a comment written by GeorgeMcFly). The other three are Donald Trump vs Ebenezer Scrooge, Shaka Zulu vs Julius Caesar and Bruce Banner vs Bruce Jenner. *The Great Ball prop used in this battle later appears on Ryan Moulton's desk in Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD 2. Production *The video games Pokémon Sun and Pokémon Moon ''were released in the United States the same week as this battle's release. *This battle is the first to be released on a Monday since Frederick Douglass vs Thomas Jefferson. *This is the fifth battle to include animated characters. **This is also the first one to include hand-drawn animated characters. References *The instrumental, especially during the intro, bears a similarity to the original theme song of the ''Pokémon anime. *In Ash Ketchum's title card, the way he raises his head is similar to the intro of the Pokémon anime. *In Charles Darwin's title card, he uses a pair of forceps to pick meat out of a turtle's shell and taste it. This is a reference to Darwin's habit of eating the animals he used for examination. *During the lines, "Got the highest speed stat, drop raps lightning fast, open my pockets and go (Charizard!) on your ass!", Ketchum performs the same moves that he occasionally does when he uses a Poké Ball in the anime series. *During the line, "In this ecosystem, I'm the dominant species!", Ketchum raises his arms in a way that could mirror the standard stance of Mankey, a Pokémon that is based on a monkey. *Darwin greeting Ketchum to a new world as well as his stance during the line, "Hello there. Welcome to a world called Earth," mirrors Professor Oak's introduction speech to the player at the very beginning of the first Pokémon games. *During Darwin's lines, "I'm a masterful naturalist! What I've glimpsed will outclass all the crap on your laughable list!", he is surrounded by dark gray flames which are similar to the Mega Evolution flames in some of the newer Pokémon video games. *During Darwin's line, "You measure your worth by the sales of your merch!", a tone of the Pokémon Trainer battle soundtrack from both the gamehttps://youtu.be/ElGm_VUMAy4?t=210 and the animehttps://youtu.be/48S_q42YQkw?t=3 could be heard. *During the line, "You think I'm impressed by your boat trip? Please!", the background is reminiscent of how an intro to a Gym Leader fight in Pokémon is. *The end of the video plays chiptune, or 8-bit music, to reference the original Pokémon video games. **This is not included in the iTunes version of the battle. **This tune is the hook of Wale's "90210", which is a chiptune sample of Lupe Fiasco's "Hip-Hop Saved My Life". Errors *During the line, "You got candy raps: Reese's Pieces!", Ketchum can be seen throwing what appears to be a Great Ball, but as soon as it leaves his hand, it turns into a regular Poké Ball. Related videos Ash Ketchum vs Charles Darwin - ERB Behind the Scenes Critical Analysis Ash Ketchum vs Charles Darwin. Epic Rap Battles of History. w Mat4yo Reference Category:Character main pages Category:Epic Rap Battles of History Category:Season 5 Category:Ash Ketchum vs Charles Darwin Category:Nice Peter Category:EpicLLOYD Category:Dante Cimadamore Category:Mary Doodles Category:Brian Walters